You're just playing a part

My mementos are my metonymies of time.

Memento Mori is actually an oxymoron. It is the Latin imperative which literally means,"remember to die." But how can one remember the future?

The bell put on the graves of dead people with string down into the coffin, so if they weren't really dead they could ring the bell and be dug up again.

The memento mori is useless because I can never remember the future, my own death, because I no longer live in time.

I can only remember the past.

Stuck in the past moment just before the sluggish murder of this life that didn't blossom but dirge.

I'm saved, safe and sound from "living in the next moment" in which I could possibly, slowly, moment by moment, lose the only spark left in the dark caught years ago.

I'm a ten minute cycle man.

I wish I could develop some eternal forgetfulness. Just a speckle of dust, and everything would fade out like blinking your eyes until you lift your eyelids to a nirvana - Even though it may not have happened exactly that way.

There's no time, there's no time to analyze.
It's just like a nihilistic puzzle, making and destroying itself repeatedly.
And the ladder only gets higher and higher.
I can't move on, but I can never stop.